Dreams deferred by millennials as robots write their CVs (spelling mistakes now mandytory)
Traditional ads dead, AI overhyped, pubs doomed (Britain's having a moment)
King Charles does NOT use Monzo and Google's AI is eating the internet alive
Octopus to flog a tentacle for £10 billion while Greek philosophy tames Britain's angriest inmates
Four-day weeks double profits while Greggs wilts in the heat and AstraZeneca plots London escape
AI agents threaten blackmail while Taylor Swift saves the economy
Business flees London for cheaper digs, gym bros fuel the economy, and strawberry sandwiches confuse the taxman
Dating apps haemorrhage users and staff, mobile screens beat TV for the first time, and nuclear subs sell like hotcakes.
ChatGPT scythes more cushty graduate jobs and pets become unaffordable luxuries as we ask a robot for more chilli and garlic sauce
BBC misunderstands AI completely while Britain's grocery watchdog hunts Amazon and oil markets panic
Uber's dodgy algorithm fleeces drivers as Scrooge-think suffocates scale-ups
AI drinks Britain dry as Scotland dumps its trash on England, while WhatsApp gets ads
