Startup horoscopes looking bright as Brits hoard cash (to spend on Tesco Finest sausages)
UK startup scene proves a leaky bucket (the Americans keep shooting the bucket) as AI prepares to emasculate cabbies and copywriters.
AI lawyers get the boot while Doc Martens struggle to shift any
UK dumps Elon, finance bros are having panic attacks - and free beer?
The revolutionaries join the government, a 10-year old billionaire called Monzo, everybody leaves eventually.
Shein ditches London for Hong Kong while Starling leaves the vault door open
Army hackers wanted (push-ups optional) while AI culls the bureaucratic herd
Farage wants to be friends with benefits, property slowcoaches punished, and Gen Z hate their phones
Paris pips us in the AI race, private shrinkage, and a 50% migration markdown
Fish for guns, breweries going under, and particularly morbid obesity
Voters regret backing Labour as dodgy sperm donors flood the gene pool
Britain celebrates being the "least worst" economy, millionaires abandon ship, and supermarkets lose your data
