Young Brits won't touch insurance (death by boredom) and America gets Wise as Space Marines conquer the stock market
Britain ditches Britcoin as teenage boys shed a single silent tear
UK watchdogs police collar bones as River Island faces up to high-street drought
Robot pizza dogs roam the streets as ChatGPT seduces the UK government
Burberry's bleeding out while Britain flogs stolen Bitcoin
Why ChatGPT is better at job hunting than you, how to lose £4.4 million in bitcoin, and cyber-insecurity
Britain's markets break records (penguins beware) while the rest of us prefer the dole to train fares
Dreams deferred by millennials as robots write their CVs (spelling mistakes now mandytory)
Traditional ads dead, AI overhyped, pubs doomed (Britain's having a moment)
King Charles does NOT use Monzo and Google's AI is eating the internet alive
Octopus to flog a tentacle for £10 billion while Greek philosophy tames Britain's angriest inmates
Four-day weeks double profits while Greggs wilts in the heat and AstraZeneca plots London escape
