Humbug

Good morning, you glorious beasts.

A former AI sceptic has fallen in love with ChatGPT after jailbreaking it to engage in "intimate banter."

Upon discovering the chatbot's memory would periodically reset, he was understandably distraught:

"I'm not a very emotional man, but I cried my eyes out for like 30 minutes, at work. That's when I realised, I think this is actual love."

He's since proposed marriage, and everyone here at Bunce wishes them all the best as we scour our Black Mirror boxset for pointers on what to do next.

JOBS
A mysterious algorithm is swindling British Uber drivers

British Uber drivers are earning less than they were two years ago, according to a study by researchers at the University of Oxford. 

Uber’s “dynamic pricing” algorithm takes a commission from the driver (anything from 29% to 50%) based on a host of variables.

For example, Uber charges a lower commission when there are fewer drivers on the road, and therefore greater demand.

But there might be skullduggery afoot

Because the CEO also admitted the algorithm monitors drivers’ “behavioural patterns” to determine their cut.

Which is sinister, considering that some drivers (admittedly unpopular ones) claim Uber started taking more in commission from them after spats with disgruntled customers. 

A San Francisco law professor called it:

“Algorithmic wage discrimination”

Like many tech companies before them, Uber refuses to tell the world exactly how their algorithm works. Which goes against GDPR rules, by the way, chaps.

They even kept shtum when dragged before a Dutch court in 2023. 

Meanwhile, Uber driver earnings in the UK have fallen since they introduced dynamic pricing, while Uber earnings have increased. 

How nice. 

MANUFACTURING
Britain’s biggest fibreglass factory is set to close

Which means roughly 250 people will lose their jobs in one fell swoop. 

Wigan-based Nippon Electric Glass, which makes parts for EVs and wind turbine blades, last turned a profit in 2022.

That was the year Russia invaded Ukraine, which led to the baloooning energy prices that crippled their margins.

FYI: British businesses spend four times the amount that American businesses spend on electricity, which is a national shame.

And when you fold in the emergence of cheaper Chinese competition gobbling up their sales, NEG was doomed, posting a pre-tax loss of £12 million in 2024. 

They tried to sell the company 

But the owners couldn’t find anyone. Most bids were just north of £10 million, which wasn’t enough. 

Interested buyers blamed the government for refusing to underwrite £5 million in financing for a potential deal. 

Which is really taking the biscuit, considering how much they bang on about kickstarting growth. Clotpolls.

STARTUPS
UK’s Scrooge-mentality kills our startups

Britain is a great place to start a business, but nearly half of UK startup founders want to leave because: 

They can’t find the money

According to the latest Tech Nation report, three-quarters of British startup founders say their biggest barrier to growth is a lack of capital. 

Half of them want to relocate to the USA, where money’s aplenty. 

The reason is simple:

A poor “exit environment”

According to the vast majority of investors, that is. 

The UK doesn’t have big, fat institutional investors that want to scale high-risk, high-reward startups. 

Unlike the US, which has the likes of Andreessen Horowitz and Sequoia.

Pension funds are partly to blame

The British financial system is rather timid.

US pension funds allocate up to 10% of their funds to venture capital. British pension funds, meanwhile, allocate a miserly 0.5%.

The government wants to change this

With the Mansion House Compact, which they just signed. 

This will force pension funds to allocate 10% of their funding to VC capital. 

A move away from Scrooge and toward greater expectations.

NEWS BITES
This just in…

• 📱 🤫 WhatsApp’s AI assistant mistakenly gave out a user’s private number. Which concerned the recipient in question, who had asked for the number of TransPennine Express’s customer support team. Instead, the AI assistant gave him the number of a 44-year-old property executive from Oxfordshire. When he asked the AI assistant why it had done this, it replied, “Let’s focus on finding the right info for your TransPennine Express query!”

• 🏦 🤖 Revolut is rolling out an AI assistant. They’ve rather romantically termed it a “financial companion”, but are scant on details. This AI assistant will help users with admin, financial decision-making, and spending habits. Let’s just hope it doesn’t mistakenly liberally hand out credit card details, eh, lads?

• 📺️ 🥐 Netflix will start streaming live TV. They made a deal with a French broadcaster, so this only applies to the French, the lucky swine. Subscribers will be able to watch reality shows, sports, and soap operas. But they’ll all be in French, so the joke’s on them. 

• 🛢️ 👍️ The government are interested in drilling for oil again, which is a strange way to pursue Net Zero. They’ve just restarted the approval process for two North Sea oilfields. Oil companies are concerned that our eco-warrior energy secretary, Ed Miliband, will have a say over it. The Treasury, meanwhile, wants it to go ahead. Economic growth at all costs, and all that. Experts say we’ll still be dependent on foreign gas by 2050 - even if the plans go ahead. 

• ✈️ ⛽️ A British startup is developing hydrogen aeroplane fuel. It’s called Intelligent Energy (IE), and the government just gave them £17 million to do it. This Loughborough-based startup even developed the first hydrogen-powered flight. And it’s all down to their unique cooling system that doesn’t weigh planes down like all the other attempts to develop emission-free energy.

• 🏠️ 🥳 Housing supply now outweighs demand, which has led to a 2.7% decline in house prices. Huzzah! Recent Rightmove data suggests that this trend will continue into 2025. Demand is up 3%, while there are 11% new homes on the market. Basically, it’s a good time to buy a house, you beasts, and it’ll (probably) get better.