Cretin

Good morning, you glorious beasts.

Students: want to spend 2-3 hours a week getting actual marketing/media experience instead of fetching coffee for deplorables?

Good news. We’re looking to bring on 3 student ambassadors for Bunce.

What you’ll get:

• Real marketing skills employers actually want

• A glowing reference letter from us and an impressive line on your CV

• A behind-the-scenes look at a fast-growing media brand

Reply to this email if that sounds enticing/alluring/alarming. Onward!

ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
Will data centres lead to water shortages?

They might, according to the Environment Agency. What with the big boom in data centres across the green belt (and the sheer amount of water they gulp).

Water you talking about?

According to the Environment Agency, Britain will be short of 6 billion litres of water a day by 2055. 

But this number doesn’t include data centres. 

Because data centres don’t have to report how much water they use. Yet. 

Which is a tad concerning, chaps

The average data centre uses about 300,000 gallons of water a day just to keep nice and cool. 

For context: that’s roughly the same amount that 100,000 homes use.

Every. Bloody. Day. 

And it’s getting worse. By 2027, global AI will consume two thirds of England’s total water consumption.

Something must be done

Concerns over water shortage have gotten so bad that Thames Water (certified footlickers responsible for sewage leaks) had a bright new idea to solve the drought problem: pump treated sewage into the Thames. 

You literally can’t make it up. 

The problem will only get worse

Demand for water has never been greater. 

Water companies are already building more supply, including 10 reservoirs and some water recycling schemes. 

Which is leading to rising bills. 

Droughts are already bad enough, with farmers hit with lower crop yields. 

Let’s hope someone has a better idea than Thames Water.

JOBS
Employers get touchy-feely

Employers can’t find the right people, don’t care about degrees and want to know the real you - and it’s all because of AI. What in the name of “computer” is happening? 

Degrees are worthless now

According to TestGorilla’s survey of a thousand recruiters: 

85% of British employers use skills-based hiring models, which is up from 56% in 2022. 

A curious thing, because half of UK employers have removed degree requirements entirely from the recruitment process - a 28% increase from last year. 

Soft skills are important now

E.g., getting along with people and not being a general cretin. 

60% of employers think soft skills are more important in 2025 than they were 5 years ago. 

They want evidence that employees can do things that machines can’t do. 

The only problem is:

They can’t find the right people

Nearly two-thirds of employers said finding talent is harder today than it was last year. 

Which isn’t surprising, considering they:

1. Outsourced graduate work to AI

2. And increased hiring for experienced professionals. 

They’ve effectively created their own mess and are now upset about it.

Silly sausages.  

SOCIAL MEDIA
Mark Zuckerberg enters our private lives (again)

Meta announced that WhatsApp will show ads. Because clearly the tech giant doesn’t have enough money. And Mark Zuckerberg loves finding new and cunning ways to muscle his pallid presence into our lives. 

What’s going on?

Ads will appear in the ‘Updates’ section, personalised based on where you live and the types of content you already engage with. 

Meta will reap a 10% commission from the ads, the nerds. 

Why? 

People are switching off social media, with more people turning to DMs than ever before. 

WhatsApp, with 1.5 billion users globally (or so they claim), can capture a huge, growing audience. 

It’s a risky business

Weirdly enough, people all over the world do, in fact, already treat WhatsApp as any other social media platform. 

But Europeans and Brits don’t, because we’re clever. 

Only time will tell whether we stick to WhatsApp or make a dent in that 1.5 billion. 

NEWS BITES
This just in…

• 🤑 🧑‍💼 Britain’s CEOs are paid 52 times more than the rest of us, with an average pay of £2.5 million. To be fair to them, the pay gap has actually decreased in recent years, but that might be because everyone's getting fired left, right and centre. 

• 🗑️ 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 The Scots will send their rubbish to England. This comes after the SNP government made the bold decision to ban landfills. But then they encountered a teething problem: they forgot to build the necessary incinerators. So, they’re sending their crap south instead. Take that, Westminster. Incinerate our rubbish for us in the name of freedom. 

• 🤖 🦹 AI companies can now steal from artists because the government’s controversial data bill has passed. Now tech companies can train their models on copyrighted material unless artists explicitly say no. Elton John called it “thievery on a high scale”, but former deputy PM Nick Clegg said any need for consent would “kill” the industry.

• 🚶 🚸 The Mayor of London has vowed to pedestrianise Oxford Street as soon as he khan (I’m here all week). This comes after charming department stores have started to repopulate the street, pushing out all the American candy and tourist tit-tat stores that filled the vacuum. A representative for London cabbies said the plans would worsen London’s already appalling congestion. 

• ♻️ 🔋 The UK grid will power the country without fossil fuels this summer. It’ll be an experiment, a “proof of concept” for a clean energy world. A lovely idea, just pack some battery-powered torches, candles, and matches in case it all doesn’t go swimmingly.