Breach

Good morning, you glorious beasts.

A think tank has forecast that British living standards will barely budge for the rest of the decade.

Median household incomes are set to rise just 1% above inflation by 2029/30, with lower-income families facing a 1% drop.

Meanwhile, pensioners are set for a 5% income boost in real terms. At least someone's winning.

- Ed & Joe

BUSINESS
London is failing, and everyone’s into self-care

According to data taken from The Sunday Times Hundred, the annual list of Britain’s fastest-growing private companies. First things first: 

Yummy Mummies and gym bros are driving the British economy

Most of Britain’s top-performing private companies sell clothes or healthcare products. 

17% sell things like bridal dresses, sportswear, and shoes. 

13% sell healthcare products (like supplements and vitamins). 

In first place came DYFNE, the Glasgow-based activewear brand which saw a 517% growth in the last 3 years, reaping £66 million in revenue just this last year. 

In second place came London-based Healf, which makes sleep masks, minerals and fitness watches. 

London has fallen to the King in the North

This year, the capital’s share of fast-growing companies fell from 41 to 36. 

The Northwest’s share of companies rose from 10 to 18 this year. Wales, from 0 to 7, and Scotland, from 0 to 3. 

And no wonder: 

London prices are a joke

Even big hitters like HSBC moved their headquarters to the North. 

Easy to see why. Office rental space in Manchester costs half of what it does in London. 

TECH
The Americans caught a great British hacker

In France, as it happens. And now they want to extradite him.

IntelBroker was responsible for hacking countless government agencies and multinationals, selling their secrets for millions on the Dark Net.

As it turns out, he’s a 25-year-old Brit

Called Kai West, a self-confessed racist and anti-American alcoholic with Asperger's, whose only principle was “No attacking hospitals or children care companies”.

With his pirate ship of hackers, he waged a pretty tireless campaign against the likes of Apple, Nokia, Cisco, Europol, and even the US Army.

Then he sold their data on a forum he managed called BreachForums, a sort of Grand Bazaar for stolen information. 

But he slipped up

Because he sent his Coinbase details to undercover FBI agents posing as interested buyers on BreachForums. 

They then traced his digital wallet to a series of email addresses, which confirmed his identity. 

He faces 50 years in prison

According to the US Department of Justice, which is unlucky, because Kai wanted to quit the hacking game. 

Two months ago, he confessed to feeling burnt out from the job. 

He said he craved a normal life, a family maybe, a job in programming, and more time for his hobbies, which include Minecraft.

TAX
When is a sandwich not a sandwich?

It’s a question that’s been stumping British accountants and lawyers ever since M&S introduced a strawberry and cream sandwich in its meal deal range. 

Sandwiches aren’t lumped with VAT

But confectionery items are taxed with VAT, up to 20%. 

Obviously, M&S claim the Japanese-inspired furutsu sando is indeed a sandwich. 

But is it actually confectionery? 

According to HMRC’s 1988 definition, confectionery is “A sweetened prepared food which is normally eaten with the fingers”. 

Considering that a giant marshmallow company just successfully persuaded a court that marshmallows are cooking ingredients, not confectionery, it seems the jury’s out.

NEWS BITES
This just in…

• 🏥 🎤 English doctors are recording us with dodgy AI. Apparently, the AI-powered voice recording software they’re using isn’t compliant with data protection standards. Which is a tad concerning considering that a few London hospitals just suffered a big fat patient data leak due to external software. All hail Britain’s AI revolution!

• ⚡️ 🏭️ The Chinese EV maker Chery Auto might build a factory in Britain. According to their UK director, they might as well. They have a fat chance selling their EVs in America because of the tariffs, and apparently, 40% of Brits “would consider” Chinese car brands. This comes after the news that a few Chinese EV makers are building factories in Europe to avoid paying EU tariffs.

• 📶 🔍️ There’s a new tool that helps you find the best mobile network for your local area, thanks to Ofcom, which just released the Mobile Checker. When you put in your postcode, it tells you the network provider with the best signal in your area. 

• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 🚀 A Welsh startup just successfully launched a satellite that will build advanced semiconductors in space. Space Forge’s satellite is the first of its kind in Britain, using the vacuum and microgravity of space to manufacture wafers free from contamination and defects. Huzzah!

• 🛑 😨 Everyone’s a bit scared of the new Companies House rules, which require SMEs to submit detailed publicly available financial statements about their profits and losses. The authorities think this will help fight money laundering, but businesses say it’ll just make it easier for their competitors to snoop in their supply chains. 

• 🚗 📉 British car production is at its lowest since 1949. Production fell nearly a third after Trump’s tariffs kicked in, with some companies, like Jaguar Land Rover and Aston Martin, dropping US shipments altogether. The new, reduced tariffs will kick in at the end of June, but no one’s holding their breath.